News headlines and funny replies by Dr Rudolf Okonkwo

Here are some stories making headline news across Nigerian newspapers this last week.

1.     No Cash, No bread, No KFC in Zimbabwe. You have to feel bad for Zimbabwe. The more things change, the more they remain the same. I mean, if it gets to KFC, then, it is finished.

2.     Women get half of Ethiopia Minister job, including First Female Defence Minister. I know. The prime minister said that he did that because women were less corrupt. When Diezani Alison Madueke heard it, she said, “I told you.”

3.     Buhari to migrants : Stay at home, Nigeria will be better. This Buhari sef. He talks anyhow. Trust Nigerians. They gave it back to him. Next time you have ear infection, one Nigerian told him, stay at home. Nigerian hospitals will be better. Nonsense!

4.     Petrol Subsidy to Exceed $3.85bn Estimate, Says Report. Hahaha.... what did Buhari call oil subsidy when he was a candidate? A sheer fraud and corruption. Oil subsidy is sheer fraud and corruption. Nonsense!

5.     Boy 'Runs Mad' After Taking Cannabis, Tramadol & Monkey Tail In Owerri. Wait oooo. I know Igbo. I know tramadol. But which one is monkey tail? It is hard to catch up with children of nowadays.